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Comments

[medalsome]

... That'll work.

And no, not... as such. I'll explain later, I don't want someone coming through my window or breaking down my door while we're talking.

[Without elaborating he cuts the feed and is on his way!]

[driftsintobuffetline]

[Breaking through your window...???] ...What the hell, dude.

[Call ended.]

> action

[medalsome]

[Once he knows it's about time for Newt and Hermann to return home Joaquin makes the trip as short as possible, motoring over to the porter and then taking a taxi to the right apartment complex despite the toll. He did have a decent job, after all, so paying wasn't an issue. Frugality took front seat most days but he really, really needed to vent and he couldn't do that back home in Heropa. Not anymore.

Hoping he wasn't too early, he knocked on the door outside their apartment and stood back to wait.]

[driftsintobuffetline]

[Newt had just managed to put away his stuff for the day when Joaquin knocked. He had already explained to Hermann that he was going to hang out with Joaquin for a while, which Hermann had accepted without question, common as it clearly was for Newt to chat with the man on the phone (he probably felt they SHOULD just go hang out and talk instead of trying to have hushed conversations in Newt's bedroom which didn't make it sound far more awkward than it was AT ALL).

In any case, that knock had to be Joaquin. So he kissed Hermann on the cheek, made sure he had his phone/wallet/keys/etc with a quick patdown of his person, and promised to be back before bedtime with a playfully added dear tacked on the end that, after he had turned away made him wonder if that was a bit too much, too soon after his failed not!proposal--too married when that was not something Hermann was ready to be.

It was indeed Joaquin, and he stepped out, and shut the door behind him.]

Hey! You know, I could totally come to see YOU one of these days; you seriously don't have to make the trip all the way out here for me.

[medalsome]

Hey yourself. [He gives Newton a small smile before turning to lead the way to the elevator back down.]

Huh. I was sorta under the impression the two of you weren't very fond of Heropa. But if you want to come by sometime, it could be fun. I could give you both rides on my motorcycle.

[But as they got heading downward Joaquin's smile disappears.]

... Well, right now I'd rather be here then back there, anyway. I, uh... Well. Maria's in Heropa now.

[driftsintobuffetline]

[Newt grins back, glad to see a smile on that face again, but anxious about whatever is going on to make Joaquin need to talk in person.

It was true, Hermann was not fond of Heropa because it was so often attacked, but now that they had their trackers, their risk was minimized. And if only one of them went to visit at a time, that was even easier. Hermann could generally safely teleport out one person without exhausting himself too badly: nab Newt from anywhere at the slightest hint of danger, or teleport himself out of there whenever he wanted.]

Dude, you might not get your motorcycle back if you let me ride it.

[he gave Joaquin's arm a pat in a gesture of camaraderie. Maria. The girl both of the idiots loved.]

...Got it. Too much, uh, love-birding or something going on?

[medalsome]

Oh, you think I'd let you drive? Not a chance! I'll give you a ride. [It's his baby, not Newt's. Or anyone else's! But he will let Manolo drive it on occasion in spite of his own misgivings.

He did appreciate the physical gesture of comfort, however. Then the elevator was opening up and they were in lobby, heading out onto the street.]

Maybe. I mean, not... not more than I expected. Just.. It's hard. As much as I wanted her here, now I'm reminded constantly about how big an idiot I was back home. Manolo hasn't attempted to punch my teeth out so I know he still doesn't know about how she and I almost got married.... But it's only a matter of time before that comes out.

[driftsintobuffetline]

[He pouted exaggeratedly. That hurt. He wanted to drive.]


Or maybe it never comes out! [He shrugged, finding himself walking quickly--fairly normal for Newt, though--to keep pace with Joaquin's broader strides.] Do you think Maria has a reason to tell him, or to tell him in such a way he'd WANT to punch you? Because, I don't know, dude, but I don't think she's that kind of girl.

Maybe she goes [hands up as if in surrender] 'full disclosure, I almost married our mutual best friend minutes after you were dead, but neither of WANTED to'--and yeah, maybe you get punched. You can take a punch, right? Never been an advocate of manly aggressive tactics myself, but take the punch and let Manolo get it out of his system.

[medalsome]

[Hey, Newt should be happy he'd get to ride the motorcycle at all!]

Possible, but not likely. And even if she does say it kindly, I worry that Manolo won't be able to look at me the same way again. It was a mistake, but one I very nearly made.

[He shrugs.] The punch itself isn't going to hurt. It's the intent behind it.

[driftsintobuffetline]

[He should be, but he's a difficult person.

Out on the street, he led the way down the sidewalk towards a nearby park, just a couple of blocks away.]

Yeah, the intent might hurt. It sucks. You screwed up. Badly. You should have taken a stand, for yourself and for Maria's sake, you should have said it was fucked up and no, you wouldn't do it. Have you considered just TELLING Manolo this, so he doesn't have to find it out? Because frankly, I hate finding things out at the wrong time and I prefer to have someone own up to their shitiness and talk to me themselves. It might help your case. And even if it doesn't, you can save Maria from telling him--because wow, can you even imagine having to tell the man you love that you almost did that, even for the right reasons?

You did wrong by her back then, so do right by her now. If you really love this girl--if you love them both, really--just tell him yourself.

[medalsome]

[The park here is nice. A lot of winding walk ways and benches to sit at. He wonders if maybe Hermann comes by with Newt and they take a nice stroll now and then. It paints a nice picture in his mind that makes him wistful.]

... But do you think that's be enough? I mean, he might not believe I'm really sorry. He knows I wanted to marry her, so why would he accept that I'd actually changed my mind? In such a short amount of time...

I always figured it would come out sometime. But I'm just afraid, if it does come out would that mean he won't ever want to be my friend again?

[He didn't deserve a friend like Manolo in the first place.]

[driftsintobuffetline]

[It was a very nice park and he and Hermann had enjoyed a few lunches here. Sometimes it was just nice to go outside and breathe fresh air. Newt felt like he hadn't seen the outside world much at all lately, before arriving in this world.]

At this point, dude, I don't think you can worry if it's enough or isn't. Stop trying to damage control for yourself and worry about doing what's right for them. Because it's the damage control that appears disingenuous; you're right, he knows you wanted to marry her, he probably knows you might have tried to eventually. So do you really want to do this to Manolo and Maria, drag out the reveal, wait for the bomb to drop? Because this is going to hurt them, too, and possibly their relationship, and the longer you wait, the worse it could be for them.

[medalsome]

No, you're right. [Joaquin couldn't argue. There was no argument with that. It was going to be hard, he wouldn't be able to do it immediately but...]

I'll have to do it sometime soon. I don't know if I'm brave enough to do it today or tomorrow but... soon.

[He reaches up and rubs at his face, clearly unhappy about the prospect but there wasn't anything else he could do.]

.... He probably won't want to talk to me ever again, but it would be better if that happened then if it hurt both of them. [Joaquin and Manolo's relationship... that would just be acceptable collateral damage.]

[driftsintobuffetline]

Look at it this way: You didn't actually marry her. So there's that.

And you never know. I mean, he might be pretty pissed at you for this, but [He tries his best to not say too much here, honestly.] I think he loves you more than you give him credit for.

Talk to him. Tell him whatever happened, tell him you're sorry, and then let him figure out where to go from there. ...Changing how he sees you may not be a bad thing? Relationships...mature, right? They evolve over time. They hit rough patches, people change how they see each other, but sometimes weathering a storm of your own making together actually makes your relationship stronger.

[medalsome]

Yeah but... [He did want to. He still... wants to. He loves her, but she doesn't love him. Not in the same way she loves Manolo.]

Maybe. I'll try to go about it gently. I don't want him to hate me, but I'll be prepared for it.

[He nods, knowing that sometimes it isn't a bad thing to argue. It just sucks when you do. And he has already fought pretty badly with Manolo, though it was his own stubborn anger and pride that caused that. Now, he just wanted things to get better sooner!]

... Thanks. I think I needed to hear that. Heh, I'm sorry, it seems like I end up talking to you about my problems so often lately. You're probably tired of hearing about my drama.

[driftsintobuffetline]

Eh? [He kicks a pebble down the path] Nah, dude. Takes away from thinking about myself, makes me put others first, which I think Hermann would say is a good thing and not something I do enough.

So if I helped, glad to. And if you needed a sounding board or something...well, I'm happy to be of service. I want to help. [He has friends. It was still amazing.]

[He punches Joaquin in the arm gently, grinning up at him.] How's life-coaching? Seems to me you're probably hearing a lot of OTHER people's problems, so you gotta unload your own somewhere, right?

[medalsome]

I dunno, you always seem willing to lend an ear. Maybe it's just that I'm always the one complaining about things and you're always the one giving advice. [He chuckles a little.]

Eh, coaching people isn't too difficult. I chose to focus on helping others that want to manage their time so they can work out and get fit; I generally deal with college students, too, because the bosses think it would be best if I addressed people my own age. [He shrugs.] It's nothing all that difficult, and if something serious comes up I'm suppose to refer them to a real psychologist. But... yeah, unloading sometimes is nice. And I can't just do it with Manolo so easily. He and I think... too differently.

What about you, though? Don't you ever need to get things off your chest?

[driftsintobuffetline]

[He is relieved to hear work, at least, is going well for Joaquin.]

My problems aren't problems. They're like lame-ass First World problems, like what am I going to order at Dunkin' today and do we want to buy 'fresh linen' scent or 'spring river' scent of detergent. It's all very domestic.

[He shoves his hands in his pockets]

Which is weird, because I never imagined myself with that lifestyle, you know? I wanted to be a cool scientist, like an Ian Malcolm, rockstarish and popular, with a girl in every port kind of thing, and here I am, ass over teakettle over the dweeb in tweed I've been sharing my lab with and...

[He shrugs. Joaquin doesn't want to hear about Hermann, not considering...everything. It seems unkind to unload about his own insecurities in a relationship that Joaquin is envious of.]

[medalsome]

There's nothing wrong with that. [In fact that sounded like a blessing. Not having any problems outside of what you're going to eat that night or buy from the store... Nice.]

Well, I'm glad to hear things are going good. I know I... kind of made an ass of myself before, but I am glad for you and Hermann both. You seem to really... understand each other. It's not something I'm used to seeing.

[He reaches over and claps a hang on Newt's shoulder.] But you know, if you guys did have any problems you were bottling up, you could tell me right? I don't mind listening. [But then heat rushes to his face and he backtracks a bit.] I mean, as long as it isn't of an... overly intimate nature. I have no advice concerning that whatsoever.

[driftsintobuffetline]

[Newt glances up at him, frowns, not at the hand but at the thought of the discussion just the other day with Manolo. Does Joaquin even like ice cream?

He doesn't mean to divulge too much, but once he starts talking, it just...goes.

He laughs.] Don't worry, we're fine there. Or I am. ...I mean, I think it's good. He's got a bit more of a ...history than I do, I guess? Not that this means anything at all! I just. I realize I'm annoying. I know I'm not what he's really [shrugs, gives Joaquin a once over. yep, no, still not that] into and I guess, you know, sometimes...

I wonder sometimes if I'm easy--like, I not EASY, I know I'm easy--but convenient for him in my inconvenience. Just...there. In his brain. The only option. You know, before you, I sort of tried to get him to go on a date with a guy--Steve Rogers. Hot, blond, big like you, saved our asses once. And Hermann said, he's actually said it a couple of times...he goes "Newton, have you considered just how difficult it would be for either of us to successfully date anyone?"

And yeah. Yeah, I have. [He shakes his head, giving a small snort] Can you imagine dating someone else while he and I [he glances around, lowers his voice] drift?

[medalsome]

[Joaquin's face twists in puzzlement.]

... You think looks matter that much? But I can see what you mean about the brain thing, it's... [He shrugs.] Not that I know how that really works but it would probably make things difficult. Dating other people.

I don't think it's easy for him. You both seem to work, but I mean, if it was easy, convenient, then I think he'd be having more second thoughts about things. Do you think he's having second thoughts?

[driftsintobuffetline]

...Yeah, I think he is. I mean, I've asked him to marry me, and he keeps telling me to wait. He thinks engagement is a risk, that we're moving too fast, that we'll fall apart, and--

[DEEP BREATH]

--I'm the only option he's got, you know? It's me or be with someone else with me as the third wheel EVERYWHERE he fucking goes, in his head, and so, yeah, I AM convenient. It's easier to date me and just deal with me than to date someone else and have me tag along. I threw myself at him and he's settled, instead of chasing what he really wants.

[medalsome]

Oh, so, you did ask him to marry you! [He chuckles and gives Newt a playful punch on the shoulder.] And you were acting like you really didn't care about marriage.

I don't think you can honestly claim he really wants something else. Unless he's told you he wants something else?

... Have you asked? Cause I don't believe it.

[driftsintobuffetline]

[He stumbles a little, frown-pouts and rubs his shoulder] Yeah, thanks, but now I care TOO much about it.

Why would I ask if he wanted something else? I know better than to set myself up for that, or to force him to lie to me. And I'd rather just keep being IT until he gets tired and [shrug, handwave] ...I hope it just dies, turns into two people living together without the resentment or disappointment. I just want...THIS. I want to just--

[He exhales sadly and his next inhale wavers, like he's on the edge of crying, but his outburst ends up angry and hurt]

Why am I a fucking risk? He knows me! If he doesn't know this can work NOW, he's NEVER going to know! It could fall apart at any time, that's just how these things work! It's not assured! It's a gamble! Even when people have NEVER fought, it's a risk! ...Why can't he just gamble on me. ...On us.

[medalsome]

[He startles a little at that outburst. Was Newt seriously going to cry? Damn, Joaquin was bad at comfort. But he reached over anyway and rested his hand lightly on the should he just punched.]

Hey... Hey, now, don't go giving yourself too much credit. Hermann doesn't seem like the kind of guy to do things half-heartedly, or without some serious contemplation. Maybe the time isn't about you, it's about him. And hey, you were hesitant too when I first brought up engagements. Let him have his time. That's all that he really wants; some extra time.

[Shrug.] And if you need some further proof he isn't thinking of you as just convenience, we could run a test.