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no subject
Date: 2016-03-12 08:38 am (UTC)the things i should
this is something i realized after
i was cheated very badly
back home and paid the price for it
questioning peoples intentions
assuming the worst about them
this is not my usual way
dr. geiszler
you have helped me understand
that this is the one place
i cant afford to fall into old ways
its not like san angel
where everyone knows each other
and no one would hurt their neighbor
but rebelling and fighting
and standing up for myself
those are things i can do
during the seminar the soviets
found i was more than they bargained for
do you have any suggestions
for how to get a good sleep?
ever since i came to this world
there are times when i dont
rest as well as i should
no subject
Date: 2016-03-12 08:55 am (UTC)And I knew I liked you, Manolo. Keep fighting the good rebellious fight.
Sleep? Sleep and I are not friends. I used to go days without sleep. I've used medication in the past, and that's an option if you want to see a doctor. I can't speak for melatonin or any of the other holistic aids, though you could just try like one of those sleep aid medicines that say PM on the box. Or just...go until you crash, but that's not really high on my rec list.
My current method of getting a good night sleep here is a 100% Gottliebian Sleep Aid that I have no interest in sharing. [Which yes, sometimes does mean tmi/nsfw, but actually Newt just legit sleeps better when touching his Drift partner.]
no subject
Date: 2016-03-12 09:10 am (UTC)that people are basically good
its when governments take control
that people do things they
normally wouldnt do
and right now
people are very afraid
and looking for someone to
tell them what to do
this is a bad combination
in my experience
the revolution back home
was paid for with lots of blood
much of it was unnecessary
including that of my mothers
you have not destroyed my
view of the world
so please dont worry
[Gottliebian Sleep Aid. Manolo smiles at the screen. That's adorable.]
im glad you have someone
to keep you company at night
i tried to sleep in joaquins room
but ended up on the floor by myself
(you dont need to tell me
how pitiful that sounds
trust me i know)
i will look into the other
methods you suggested
this is the future!
they must have something that works
no subject
Date: 2016-03-12 09:20 am (UTC)I'm sorry about your mom.
And I'm sorry this world hasn't lived up to its promise. We were hoping for something better too, but unfortunately, it is what it is.
If sleeping on the floor sounds pitiful, dude, I feel you. I think I almost slept on Hermann's floor a few nights before we got together--I DID sleep in his bed, though. Here's the trick: Just go in there one night, nudge Joaquin over, tell him you're claiming one side of the bed, and take part of the bed. You're BFFs. Isn't that what BFFs do? Have slumber parties? I mean, I don't know a lot about BFFs myself, personally, since I've only had one since August, but kick that guy's ass out of bed if he won't surrender half to you.
Good luck on the sleep front, though, dude. I'll keep an eye open at the drug store, too.
no subject
Date: 2016-03-12 09:31 am (UTC)is that what its called
sounds like the banditos
who attacked our towns once
the war was over because they still
wanted things to destroy and people to kill
thank you
my mom was a good woman
who died protecting me and my father
i am fortunate to be her son
joaquin is built like
one of those american football players
i saw when i still worked at the college
if he doesnt want to move from the bed
im pretty sure hes not going anywhere
besides
its his bed
if he doesnt want to share it
he shouldnt have to just because
im acting like a child who thinks
there are monsters hiding in my closet
no subject
Date: 2016-03-12 09:37 am (UTC)You don't think that's why I went into Hermann's room? Monsters under my bed? That is exactly why I went into Hermann's room. Did you actually ASK Joaquin or did you just get blocked by the wide receiver from moving into the endzone?
...That sounded sexual. I'm sorry, not sorry, but yeah, very sorry.
no subject
Date: 2016-03-12 09:47 am (UTC)i would love for you to meet her
uh wow
nothing sounded sexual to me
until you said it did
but i am also not from this century
so the odds of anything you say
flying over my head are pretty high
also if youre not actually sorry
you probably shouldnt say you are
you should know though
that this wasnt me trying to be a creep
so dont get the wrong idea
anyway i didnt just waltz into his room
and expect him to move over
i said i wanted to stay close
in case the soviets tried something
i got the feeling climbing into bed
was out of his comfort zone
so i didnt push him
this was during the seminar
maybe he didnt want to be touched
because of what was happening
i dont know
he doesnt have to explain himself to me
no subject
Date: 2016-03-13 08:44 am (UTC)No, I don't think you were trying to be a creep, dude. Hey, if he's not up for platonic cuddle times, he's not up for platonic cuddle times. Not everyone is, seminar or no. Agreed he doesn't have to explain himself, just hope he comes around, because platonic cuddles with the BFF are +A, would recommend. And he kind of needs them, I think. Or not need-needs, but would benefit. More physical contact might actually do him some good, you know? But let's be real, phys contact is not something to force on another person. So hopefully he will realize for himself that he wants this and will get some platonic "no homo" cuddles in with you, maybe while watching a movie or something. Cause that's not gay...
Seriously, though. You two should do some more BFF time. Like, not to be weird, not trying to smush you two together or anything, but I not!dated Hermann for a while there. It was nice. For both of us, I think. Bonding *jazz hands.* Maybe Joaquin just needs some time letting you back into his comfort zone. Take Joaquin out for stuff. Lunch. Coffee. Sit in the park and let him smoke (if you can stand it...sit upwind, and fyi I am not advocating second-hand smoke). Do stuff. idk what you two do together. But if you need money, let me know. I can send you with some money or gift cards or something and we can pretend you made it while doing a gig? So he doesn't feel weird? Or count me as patron numero uno or we'll consider it an advance until you get famous and have a platinum record and multi-album deal with a recording company and then you can pay me back. Or sign something and I'll sell it on ebay and make back my "loan" in x100.
Which is to say, if you need something, let me know. I'm starting to feel like Scrooge McDuck with his vault of gold coins to swim in, so yeah, take my money before I get bored and buy out a music store.
no subject
Date: 2016-03-13 09:01 am (UTC)a couple of times in january
it was nice
he needs to be in the mood for it though
he also might be uncomfortable
because he knows my ice cream preference
i dont blame him if thats the case
we do things like that sometimes
picnics, motorcycle rides to cocoa beach
cheap meals at one of those burger diners
oh but what if
we went on a camping trip!
the lights of the city
make it so hard to see the stars
but if we went way out into the country
we could look at the night sky together
a little like home
i have never been camping though
thats the kind of thing soldiers did
so i dont know what to bring or
where to go
thank you very much
for your kind offer dr. gesizler
i am ashamed that i havent
made a steady paycheck yet
but i promise im working hard
to make my dream happen
if i come up with something
you and i both think joaquin might enjoy
i will let you know
no subject
Date: 2016-03-13 09:24 am (UTC)Are we even sure he likes ice cream?
...Man, I'm envious. I'd kill to get on a motorcycle. Hermann would kill me if I bought one, though, never mind that he's making a fast car for his midlife crisis.
Camping is easy! Dude, I used to fish all the time with my uncle. It was great. Except the sitting around waiting part.
If you camp, you need some gear. Find a sporting-goods store. I don't know what's nearby you, but just use the phone and search? I'd say you need (at least):
- Tent (one)
- sleeping bags (one for each) + pillow (again one for each)
- backpacks
- nonperishable food + water + things to cook with/eat with and maybe a cooler
- whatever your choice firestarter is and some dry paper to use to start a fire (keep it in a ziploc, ok)--remember, only you can prevent forest fires, so ask Joaquin about fire safety, ok? If he was a soldier, he should know, right?
- a good pair of shoes each
- a good jacket for each of you
- comfortable clothes (layers!)
- a couple of flashlights/lanterns and extra batteries (I like a handsfree headlight personally, but to each his own)
- toilet paper
- toothbrushes + paste
- sunscreen
- bandaids + first aid items
- bug repellant
- maybe a book
Hermann's got a telescope. If you want to borrow it and take good care of it, I'm sure he'll let you. Maybe he'll even show you how to use it. Plus, I plan to buy him another one, so if this one mysteriously is never returned, don't feel too bad. But it might be nice to have it back, because we had some good times--a good time--with it. (The Blood Moon was cool, but tbh, watching Hermann think the Blood Moon was cool was cooler)
And hey, we all go through unemployment sometime. Chase your dream and send me a copy of your album when it comes out.
no subject
Date: 2016-03-13 09:37 am (UTC)not actual ice cream obviously but
ice cream of the interpersonal kind
[YOU KNOW.
Wow, though. That...is quite a list. Newt can't see his face, but Manolo gets progressively discouraged as it just.....keeps scrolling. There's no way he could even pay for a portion of that, and the amount is just too much to even ask from a close family member, let alone Newton or Joaquin.
Would Joaquin even want to go through all the trouble just to go star-gazing with him?
Still, he doesn't convey his doubts, instead typing:]
that is such a great list
thank you very much dr. gesizler
i actually dont think i
would have thought of even a third of those things
if dr. gottlieb would be okay with it
id love to borrow his telescope
whenever we go
and i will definitely send you a copy!
i actually finished the demo disc
not that long ago
no subject
Date: 2016-03-13 09:54 am (UTC)WAIT. HOLD UP. YOU HAVE A DEMO TAPE AND YOU DID NOT TELL ME? WAHT THE FUCK, MAN, I THOUHGT WE WERE FRIENDS. *GRABBY HANDS* GIMME A COPY. I just found the soundtrack for the lab for the next month.
Interpersonal Ice Cream. That's totally the name of my new band (not literally. figure of speech...) But yeah. There are people who don't like ice cream, people who HATE ice cream and want nothing to do with it, people who don't have an opinion on ice cream because they just don't have an interest in it. There are people who kind of sometimes like ice cream but are otherwise indifferent, or who only like ice cream if they develop an emotional attachment to the specific brand or whatever. And there are people only like to watch OTHER people eat ice cream and don't eat it themselves. There's a whole ice cream spectrum.
no subject
Date: 2016-03-13 10:05 am (UTC)where did you go for the blood moon?
[For some reason, it didn't occur to him that Newt would be so eager to listen to his disc. The enthusiasm is flattering, but at the same time he's a little self-conscious about it.]
im sorry for not telling you sooner
you can definitely have a copy
but you should know
i didnt use equipment like
the professionals use
the quality isnt very good at all
i dont know if dr. gottlieb will like
hearing it in the lab
[Those are way more variations of ice-cream eating than Manolo even anticipated. He's a little overwhelmed, but...it sort of makes sense? Even if he can't personally relate to some of it.]
well
if he doesnt like ice cream
he doesnt need to be eating any with me
that much is for sure
it sounds like it would just make him sick
[See, so no reason to bring it up to him. Like, ever.]
no subject
Date: 2016-03-13 10:26 am (UTC)...Manolo, dude, DUUUUDE. You could be singing underwater with Graham Bell's first telephone for a mic and you will be a blessing to Hermann's ears. A) your singing is great and I want to hear it even if the audio file quality is not so great (I might be able to run it through a filter on Hermann's laptop to clean it up, if I can pry the computer away from him for 2 seconds, we'll see) and B) Hermann will complain about what I play in the lab just on principle. It's what he does. It's what WE do. But he's going to like it.
So don't eat ice cream with him.
But you can find out if he'll discuss ice cream with you. And maybe you'll figure out what his ice cream preferences are. Or inform him of the ice cream preference options available. I doubt he knows them, unless his life coaching job has led him to some human sexuality books. We know, obviously, he'll look at different flavors--
He never made a move on Hermann, I think. No, I'm positive. Like. He never made his interest clear with Hermann and I don't know if that was because he was too much of a gentleman or if he didn't actually HAVE interest. I am certain, though. He would not have kissed me if that were not the case. Hermann, I mean, would not have kissed me if Joaquin had made his interest/intent clear. Was he clear, ever, with Maria? Or was he only clear with you, because you were his rival?
no subject
Date: 2016-03-13 10:38 am (UTC)it would give me satisfaction if dr. gottlieb
enjoys it as much as you say
and if you get a chance
to clean the songs
i would be most grateful
i do not think discussing
that kind of ice cream with me
is his idea of a good time but
i suppose it wouldnt hurt to try
if the time is right and
the topic naturally comes up
[His heart stops when Newt's words lead him to believe that Joaquin had kissed him, and his arms and feet turn to ice for an excruciating moment. But then Newt thankfully clarifies, and Manolo can breathe again...]
he proposed to her
the night she returned from spain
i dont think you can get
any clearer than that
no subject
Date: 2016-03-13 11:08 am (UTC)What WAS the view on marriage you guys were raised with anyway? Sexuality aside.
no subject
Date: 2016-03-13 11:29 am (UTC)i understand the question
he bought her a ring
was willing to settle down in
san angel just for her
his way of going about it
probably wasnt the best
its not like i was there to see it
but i think it was at a party
in front of everyone in town
so
yes
that was a thing he did
who is topol?
why he is about to kill himself?
well anyway its true that joaquin
is the more traditional
out of the three of us
honestly it didnt even occur to me
to propose to maria until
joaquin did it first
but it wasnt much of a proposal
compared to his
no ring, i didnt even outright
ask her to marry me
i just wanted her to know
i would love her no matter what
she chose to do with her life
joaquin on the other hand
he is very amibitious
does whatever he sets his mind to
at the same time he is very sensitive to
other peoples expectations of him
he hates disappointing those he respects
and marias father, the general
was very open about wanting joaquin as a son-in-law
i dont know other views of marriage
to compare it to but
its something most people did
either for love or other reasons
generally speaking
if you ate ice cream with someone
outside of wedlock
it was expected that you would
get married to that person
maybe not right away
but soon enough
no subject
Date: 2016-03-13 11:39 am (UTC)That aside... Forget Topol. I probably can't even find that movie-musical here. Maybe I'll explain the opening number to you later.
Man it must suck to be Joaquin. He has a knack for inspiring people to sort-of-but-not-actually-propose to the object of his affection.
no subject
Date: 2016-03-13 12:23 pm (UTC)you know about it but
its a long confusing story
joaquin and i both did things
we arent proud of and
our friend was caught in the middle
maybe i will tell you sometime
just not over the texts
my hand would start to hurt
from pushing all the buttons
if topol involves music
then i will probably like to
hear about it later
you proposed to dr. gottlieb
because of something joaquin did?
no subject
Date: 2016-03-13 12:49 pm (UTC)Proposed is a strong word. I asked his opinion on marriage and weddings, and related things. And a consensus was reached that I would like very much to spend the rest of my life with him, come hell or high water, and he accepted that. And has no plans to leave, he says. That was the result of Joaquin's actions.
When I actually sort of proposed but didn't, Hermann told me it was too soon. So there's that, but that's not Joaquin's fault. I screwed that one up on my own.
no subject
Date: 2016-03-13 01:14 pm (UTC)to have good people like you and dr. gottlieb
look after us but thank you
very much for the offer
ive never told anyone
the entire story before
i didnt even completely understand
that i did a very selfish thing
until another import told me
my actions were not normal
so maybe it would be good
for me and my relationships with
the important people in my life
to talk about it sometime
i am happy to hear that
you and dr. gottlieb
are able to talk about the future
its okay if its too soon for marriage
what matters is you agree to
stand by each other
come hell or high water, as you say
the ring is just a symbol
a formality
important because of what it stands for
not because its on your finger
or how much it costs
you belong to each other
but neither of you own the other