ic contact

[driftsintobuffetline]

Hey! You've reached the inbox of Newt Geiszler! Leave a message and call-back number after the beep!

Text

Audio

Video

Email

             __ \/_             (' \`\          _\, \ \\/           /`\/\ \\                \ \\                     \ \\/\/_                 /\ \\'\               __\ `\\\                /|`  `\\                       \\                        \\                         \\    ,                          `---' [[ooc: the ascii art comes from here]]

Comments

[driftsintobuffetline]

Aren't bad?? You WISH you looked this good in glasses. You'd look awful. ...Probably. Maybe. I mean, have you seen Hermann in them? What a dweeb! What a horrendously dweeby wannabe-old-man. They pinch his nose and give him this awful librarian look and he keeps them on a chain like an old lady and it's just awful. REALLY AWFUL. Those glasses should be banned. They're horrible. I love when he wears them.

[dendarii]

I'll get my own pair and take a picture. See if you can tell the difference.

[driftsintobuffetline]

Get a sweatervest too. Complete the look.

Though, idk, you could never look nearly pissy enough to be Hermann.

[dendarii]

I could get close.

[driftsintobuffetline]

Nah, pissiness is like a fine wine. Gets better with age. Back when he looked more like you, he was just ANGRY with me all the time.

Practice sneering. Then you'll be circa 2017 Hermann.

[dendarii]

... How old is he?

[driftsintobuffetline]

36. You're early-twenties, you said, right? We were, well, we weren't that young when we met. It was about eight years ago.

[dendarii]

... I would have guessed 45.

[driftsintobuffetline]

WOW RUDE.

How old did you think I was?

[dendarii]

Oh, much younger. Thirty perhaps.

[driftsintobuffetline]

Cute. Very cute. Now you're just pulling my leg.

IF that were true--and I'll have you know I don't believe you, you flatterer--I can only imagine what kind of impression must we have made. Hermann the cradle-robber.

[dendarii]

No, not really. My parents have a significant age gap themselves.

[driftsintobuffetline]

Oh really? Well, I guess that happens with royal people, right? Believe it or not, Hermann and I are both the same age, basically. A year apart, but basically the same age.

You and Greg, though, how old are you both, I mean, in comparison to one another?

[dendarii]

Mother isn't royal at all though. I think she just fell for him specifically.

And we're five years apart. He'd older.

[driftsintobuffetline]

So she's Kate to your dad's Prince William, only not because he's more like...whoever William's brother was. The one who isn't balding.

Five years isn't bad.

[dendarii]

... I don't know what that means.

And no, it's hardly anything at all.

[driftsintobuffetline]

Not important. Never mind. [You're killing me, Smalls.]

I'm sorry, dude.

[dendarii]

Sorry? For what?

[driftsintobuffetline]

[About Greg. About him not returning your feelings, really.] Eh, never mind.

[dendarii]

... Newton, please.

[driftsintobuffetline]

"Newt."

[dendarii]

Newt. Whatever. Tell me.

[driftsintobuffetline]

I am sorry about you and Greg. I want it to work out, okay and I realized, idk, I was talking about him like he was [...yep, this is the best way to describe the way he was talking] your Hermann.

[dendarii]

Your Hermann.

[ There's a small pause before the next message comes. ]

I'll take it as a compliment, I guess.

[driftsintobuffetline]

Your equivalent to Hermann.


I swear, dude, if that pause was because you don't like being the ME in this scenario, I'm insulted. Because Greg is the Hermann...Greg is totally the Hermann.