driftsintobuffetline

DUDE. He's 15. I told him I kissed you, that's it! And that we were dating! Or going to be!! Actually, I think he called me on my "coffee and lunches" dates not being dates, but in any case-- Don't accuse me of corrupting minors except into the ways of experimental science, okay? Not funny! YOU try being a kid in a grown-up world. Seriously, not funny to have people oversharing like you're their frat bro.

Alright, fair enough, just making making sure.

But come to think of it, you were dating me for awhile there without my knowledge, weren't you? I did think your generosity a bit odd, but thought you simply wanted to get out of the house without having to deal with the separation.

It wasn't... dating--we were...Like I told Qubit, it was FriendDates. And you were my exclusive FriendDate and. ALRIGHT. I was starting to think of it as kind of dating you. I liked you. I was attracted to you. You were NOT attracted to people like me. And taking you out for coffee and lunch and stuff meant we got to spend time together PLATONICALLY and argue--our favorite past-time--and hang out and be friends--still a revolutionary concept for us then, you may recall!--and sometimes you'd just... [Deep inhale, exhale.] ...smile, or get this look in your eyes that was better than a smile? like you were excited to talk to me even if I was pissing you off a little...like the debate was fun, the sport of it was fun. It was like our letters, before we fell out.

And maybe I tried to make myself your exclusive coffee and lunch date. I wanted you to notice me more than anyone else, you know? And so, yeah, I kind of did date you. I didn't expect anything of it. Just--wanted to call dibs on all of your time and attention.

[He gives a breathy sort of laugh into the receiver.] I had it bad for you--Hiro knew before I did. It's kind of embarrassing. REALLY embarrassing.

[Hermann's smiling across the line, endeared by the way Newton describes falling in love with him. It's like a window of insight for a matter he'd considered unfathomable. But now he can understand it a little, and it warms his heart.]

Newton. [His name is all warm affection and tenderness] How very sweet.

When did you say you'd be home?

[Mumbled with embarrassment, even though he can feel the warmth and love from Hermann through their connection.]

I don't know, man. I'm thinking now I'll just go hide in the freezer aisle until you forget this conversation entirely and think I'm semi-cool again...uh, pun unintended.

[He chuckles, and Newton is nearing adorable territory.]

Well I'd very much like to kiss you at the moment, and it's a shame it's late or I'd port to you instead. But really, I don't think it's possible to forget this conversation. It's all very touching.

[His smile shows in his voice. Hermann might be able to sense his blush.] Now you're just picking on me, Doctor Gottlieb. "All very touching." Maybe I'll stay here, leave you for Ben and Jerry.

[It takes a bit of a Newton database reference check to get that one, but the important thing is he gets it before the conversation can turn an entirely different direction]

Yes, drown your woes in ice cream. How awful that your fiance finds it sweet to hear how you fell in love with him.

You mean how I was so ridiculous and didn't realize I was in love with you even though a kid told us that on Day 1?

What do you want? Cherry Garcia? Chunky Monkey? Chubby Hubby, hubby-dear? I'll be home in five to ten [minutes, he means] once you decide.

It's a process, of course you didn't see it right away. It took even longer for me to realize that.

But seeing as I don't have any idea what those last flavors are, Cherry perhaps? Or really, whatever appeals to you. I'm sure it's all ice cream.

You're terrible and I hate you for not knowing what Ben and Jerry's even is.

[Muffled hellos and whatnot to the cashier. Newt gives them the basic thanks them as they finish the transaction.]

Looking back, it feels so obvious. Of course I was in love with you. But when you like and admire someone and want to verbally punch their lights out, feelings kind of get confused.

I'm not American, Newton.

[Now maybe he was, technically, but this world's special circumstances hardly counted]

Yes, that particular feeling has been mutual for some time. I didn't know what I wanted with you at first, but dating proved to be nice, and then Hong Kong of course..

Excuses.

Dating WAS nice. Almost miss it, almost. And what do you mean you didn't know what you wanted with me? Come on, man. I put out the first night. Obviously you were into it for some hot Kaiju-Groupie action.

Well yes, but emotionally speaking, I didn't know if it was just adding a new physical dimension to our existing relationship or the serious investment it turned out to be. I hadn't expected our dates to go well, especially considering that I hadn't been a particularly good friend up to that point. It was a bit daunting to think about really.

What the hell are you talking about? You were a great friend, Hermann. Are. Are a great friend. You're the Best. Did I want to stab you in the eye in August? Sure. But you probably wanted to rip my head off, so we're even.

Look. Present your evidence and I'll refute it. And while I'm proving you wrong, you honestly think we would have not gotten a serious investment out of that night in November? Did you read those letters we sent? Were you there March 2017? We are in DEEP, dude. We have never NOT been in deep with each other.

It seemed like a similar scenario that night, as it had become apparent in the argument well, before, that I hadn't changed much.

I wasn't kind or terribly sympathetic, still made thoughtless comments like nothing had changed and you wanted.. well, you didn't know at the time, but more than that. I'd grasped that much, but really wasn't certain I could keep that sort of thing up for an extended period of time.

I know I'm not as demonstrative or affectionate as you deserve, and there were times I was certain you'd eventually leave because of it.

A) I was unfair. This is me admitting I was wrong and that I have always been highly critical of you. You've changed. We're living together and working together because you changed, invited me in, and didn't push me away. B) I don't know what you think I deserve in terms of demonstrated affection, but...the fact that you're referring to it as what I deserve and not what I want--Do you listen to yourself, Hermann? You are so incredibly good. How is considering what love someone else might 'deserve,' and then worrying about whether or not you can fulfill that, NOT being sympathetic?

And C) I am the thoughtless comment king here. Do not try to take my crown. I will fight you.

[Hermann's quiet for a bit, recalling how much he'd doubted himself then and justified the relationship to himself with as many shows of love and affection as he could manage.

It wouldn't have been the first time someone accused him of not caring enough- wouldn't even be the first time Newton had said as much in different words during one of their arguments- but it's not something he wants to hear now.

He breathes a quiet sigh, Newton's reassurance washing over him like a balm.]

Thank you, Newton. You can keep your crown, I promise. One of us needs to have some degree of tact, after all.

Edited 2016-06-29 19:29 (UTC)

Please. Tact is overrated.

Anyway, I'm in the lobby, so I'll be up in a few. Miss me terribly yet?

I'm not certain how I've survived this long.

Yeah yeah. Cute. I'll be your hero, babe. I'll come rescue from this misery and loneliness your wallowing in.

Please do.

Anything for you.

[The elevator ride is fairly short, and Newt disembarks on their floor, ice cream in the plastic sack from the corner grocer. At their door, he doesn't even bother fishing out his keys or ending the call, and just knocks loudly, calling through the door.]

Hey, if there isn't a cat in your lap, open up!

[Hermann tsks audibly, and the feed ends.

A few moments later, the door unlatches and opens. Hermann steps back to let Newton in, eyeing the plastic bag in his hands, and rolls his eyes]

Well at least I didn't suffer needlessly.

Boo hoo. Be nice or I'll eat it all myself. Anyway, you got to set up a playdate with Miles. It wasn't like my absence was a total waste.

[Carrying the bag to the kitchen.] Sometimes I almost think you get more social when I'm not here.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject