[He stumbles a little, frown-pouts and rubs his shoulder] Yeah, thanks, but now I care TOO much about it.
Why would I ask if he wanted something else? I know better than to set myself up for that, or to force him to lie to me. And I'd rather just keep being IT until he gets tired and [shrug, handwave] ...I hope it just dies, turns into two people living together without the resentment or disappointment. I just want...THIS. I want to just--
[He exhales sadly and his next inhale wavers, like he's on the edge of crying, but his outburst ends up angry and hurt]
Why am I a fucking risk? He knows me! If he doesn't know this can work NOW, he's NEVER going to know! It could fall apart at any time, that's just how these things work! It's not assured! It's a gamble! Even when people have NEVER fought, it's a risk! ...Why can't he just gamble on me. ...On us.
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Date: 2016-03-24 11:14 pm (UTC)Why would I ask if he wanted something else? I know better than to set myself up for that, or to force him to lie to me. And I'd rather just keep being IT until he gets tired and [shrug, handwave] ...I hope it just dies, turns into two people living together without the resentment or disappointment. I just want...THIS. I want to just--
[He exhales sadly and his next inhale wavers, like he's on the edge of crying, but his outburst ends up angry and hurt]
Why am I a fucking risk? He knows me! If he doesn't know this can work NOW, he's NEVER going to know! It could fall apart at any time, that's just how these things work! It's not assured! It's a gamble! Even when people have NEVER fought, it's a risk! ...Why can't he just gamble on me. ...On us.