[The beginning of that answer leaves Manolo holding his breath, praying that Newt didn't actually end up dying. Thankfully, the story hasa better ending than that. His impulsiveness didn't get him killed, or leave Hermann picking up the pieces.

Now, though, Manolo has a better sense of why Newt didn't feel the need to either lecture him, or even swing in the opposite direction and completely dance around the issue. The knot in his stomach begins to dissipate, if only a little.]

...I'm glad you lived. Dying is easy, but for the ones who are left behind...it's hell on earth. [No one knows better than him.] I wasn't trying to punish Joaquin for what he said to me. I honestly thought he was right, and I just...wanted to see her again, even if it meant dying. I didn't want to live anymore if it meant being alone.