You know, I...basically composed a suicide note to Hermann once. Well, not exactly, but-- I was pissed at him, did an experiment he refused to support me on and that I wasn't honestly sure would work, but I [deep breath]--in my infinite hubris--
[So much regret] My last message was that, if it worked, I won. I wanted to shove it in Hermann's face. [a small quiet snort of bitter humor] And if it didn't work and I was dead...well, I wanted to shove that in his face as well. Said it was all his fault, that he drove me to it--and there it was, recorded, my voice accusing him--for him to hear forever.
...and it almost did kill me. And he was the one that found me.
So! [trying to brighten things back up with louder, more energetic tone, emotion still breaking at the edges of his voice] You know. I get it. I don't get it get it exactly, but I sort of...get it. It was a mistake, you made a bad decision while upset. I don't judge you for it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2016-03-21 10:23 am (UTC)You know, I...basically composed a suicide note to Hermann once. Well, not exactly, but-- I was pissed at him, did an experiment he refused to support me on and that I wasn't honestly sure would work, but I [deep breath]--in my infinite hubris--
[So much regret] My last message was that, if it worked, I won. I wanted to shove it in Hermann's face. [a small quiet snort of bitter humor] And if it didn't work and I was dead...well, I wanted to shove that in his face as well. Said it was all his fault, that he drove me to it--and there it was, recorded, my voice accusing him--for him to hear forever.
...and it almost did kill me. And he was the one that found me.
So! [trying to brighten things back up with louder, more energetic tone, emotion still breaking at the edges of his voice] You know. I get it. I don't get it get it exactly, but I sort of...get it. It was a mistake, you made a bad decision while upset. I don't judge you for it.