He begrudgingly admitted to himself that Hermann had a point. Yes, he would not have accepted a refusal very gracefully and it was impossible to speculate exactly HOW that would have gone down, but it would have gone downhill fast. And that was frightening, to think of how that little refusal of a thing they hadn't even discussed wanting, and Newt hadn't even fully expected Hermann to agree to anyway, would have triggered all sorts of fear and abandonment and loneliness and feelings of inadequacy and the split years ago when their meet-up went sour and the thought of losing Hermann again and--
It was abundantly clear: he wanted very much to spend his life with Hermann. And it scared him to think he could have fucked that up and missed his chance again.
"Well, glad we didn't go THAT route. But we're good now, right? I mean, anything else you want to discuss?" He stroked his thumb over Hermann's wrist, just under the wristband of the watch. "I know you're working on some longterm plans up in that head of yours, but if you're not ready to share with the class, I'm fine with that. Or if you want my input, I mean, so you have the variables, or whatever? What is going to make this work?" They were both pretty socially inept, but it had worked to lay it all out on the table before. They could try that again.
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Date: 2016-02-10 08:22 am (UTC)It was abundantly clear: he wanted very much to spend his life with Hermann. And it scared him to think he could have fucked that up and missed his chance again.
"Well, glad we didn't go THAT route. But we're good now, right? I mean, anything else you want to discuss?" He stroked his thumb over Hermann's wrist, just under the wristband of the watch. "I know you're working on some longterm plans up in that head of yours, but if you're not ready to share with the class, I'm fine with that. Or if you want my input, I mean, so you have the variables, or whatever? What is going to make this work?" They were both pretty socially inept, but it had worked to lay it all out on the table before. They could try that again.