Some nameless feeling stole over Hermann, a sense of distance and insecurity that prompted him to fold one of Newton's hands into his. He knew he was terrible at romantic expression, that he had an excessively difficult time forcing silly affectionate thoughts into verbal sentiments. Knew that Newton must often feel under appreciated because of his unwillingness to be vulnerable. And one day it might not be enough anymore, even with the drift.

A self-fulfilling prophecy if ever there was one.

His shoulders hunched and Hermann stared at their hands, thumb tracing over Newton's pinky and brushing over his wrist. After marriage..? Just what was Newton fishing for?

"I don't know, Newton. I try not to think about how difficult it would be to be married to me. My disease will progress and I will deteriorate." Not exactly the blissful future most envisioned after marriage. Hermann studied the patterns of color staining Newton's wrist with far more focus than they warranted. The pang of sadness faded and he managed to keep his voice steady.

"Then I start thinking that perhaps it's best that I don't, that I simply retire back to Germany because I don't know how long I could handle burdening the person I loved most, let alone any children."